Exclusive: Meet the Wizards of the Coast Employee Who Sets MTG Prices by Pretending to Work as Their Boss Walks By
Hello, my name is Sheryl O’Terra and I work for the financial side of Wizards of the Coast, specifically for…
No Ragrets: Local Man Unveils Pauper EDH Rule Zero Tattoo
Pauper Commander enthusiast Richard Brandon unveiled his new tattoo last Tuesday. According to uncomfortable sources now distancing themselves from Brandon,…
Is it a Misprint or is the Flavor Text Supposed to Chide Me About My Sugar Intake?
With so many Magic: The Gathering cards being printed on a daily basis there are bound to be printing errors…
Foil Infant Placed Under Stack of Heavy Books
BEDFORD, Conn. — Becky and Paul Legume welcomed baby Pippy to the world last week. The couple were thrilled to…
How to Save Money on Magic: The Gathering by Giving Your Credit Card to Harlow, The Thrifty Neighborhood Squirrel
In the throes of addiction, it can be hard to know when to stop. To know when it’s too much….
“I’m a Blue Mage” and Other Baffling Responses to Girlfriend’s Inquiries about Her Missing Underwear
SEATTLE, Wash. — Local power couple Lamar Smith and Keke Umbridge found themselves in the throes of a heated discussion…
Rigged Magic Arena Shuffler Also Main Cause of Erectile Dysfunction
A newly published study concluded that the undoubtedly rigged shuffler in Magic Arena is not only the rationale for every…
Internal Monologue Positive a New Commander Deck Will Fix Everything
Of course, things are tough right now. Everything is expensive. People are scary. Traffic is insane. Your posh work-from-home situation…
Cowboy Theme Selected for New Magic: The Gathering Set Instead of Fireman or Slutty Nurse
RENTON, Wash. — Insider sources showed reporters how Wizards of the Coast arrived at the decision to proceed with the…
I Chose a Female Commander and Now Understand the Plight of Women
Of the very few number of women I’ve been close with, they all had one thing in common. Whine, whine,…