Inclusivity Win: Wizards of the Coast R&D Hire Smart Toaster as Head of Design
In a groundbreaking move celebrated as a significant step toward workplace inclusivity, Wizards of the Coast (WotC) announced their newest…
Magic: The Gathering
MTG’s New ‘Play Boosters’ Include List Cards, More Rares, Pair of Arms that Hold You Upside Down to Shake Money From Your Pockets
Monday, October 13th, Wizards of the Coast unveiled its latest Magic: The Gathering product. Traditional Set and Draft Boosters will…
MTG Influencer Announces ‘This Board Wipe is Brought to You by Charmin’
Yet another mainstay of the MTG influencer sphere has announced they plan on coaxing their legions of adoring fans into…
Bronies Release Handy Guide for Cleaning Protein Stains Off Magic: The Gathering’s “My Little Pony” Cards for No Reason in Particular
A prominent group of Bronies has released a meticulously detailed guide on how to remove protein stains from the limited…
Exclusive: Opponent Clarifies Which Armpit He’s Using for His Graveyard
After a request from a confused opponent, local Modern tournament regular, Tim “Always Scam” Thompson clarified which of his armpits…
Bye-Bye Judge Academy: WotC to Replace Event Judges with Life-Sized Anthropomorphic Cards Who Moan Until You Buy Stuff
Wizards of the Coast has announced that they will be replacing all human judges at events with anthropomorphic versions of…
Players Can Now Return Unwanted Magic: The Gathering Cards to be Placed In New Booster Packs and Sold Back To Them
In a groundbreaking initiative that is sure to be hailed as the epitome of sustainability and definitely not a sly…
What to Do When Ajani Inevitably Puts His Anus Right Up in Your Face
Every cat owner knows the feeling. Out of nowhere, you find yourself face-to-face with your feline’s rear end. Ajani might…
Newest Foil Magic: The Gathering Cards Never Quite Sideways When Tapped
Most Magic: The Gathering enthusiasts are well-acquainted with foil cards’ notorious inability to lay flat. Regrettably, a novel foiling technique…
Mayor Denies Highly Reflective 150-Foot-Tall Foil Magic Card Causing City’s Random Fires
DALLAS, Texas — Researchers determined the source of the fires plaguing Dallas residents in recent weeks: the massive, highly reflective…