DIY: Get Free Magic Arena Gems Using Grandma’s Home Equity
We all want free Magic Arena gems and by using this DIY guide, you can pull the handle of the…
2023
Ratio of Commander Decks to Intact Underwear Concerning
WARSAW, N.Y. — Molly Shanta became concerned after discovering her new boyfriend’s dismal amount of clean, intact underwear despite owning…
Board State Not in the Right Place to Commit To Another Permanent Just Yet
Local board state reeling over a recent loss cited that they’re still not in a “right place” as they passed…
Lorcana Desperately Needs Cinderella’s Glass Slipper (Guest Article by Quentin Tarantino)
Look, okay. I get that you can’t have every Disney character and prop in the first go, okay? But Cinderella…
Return to Eldraine: ‘Wilds’ Narrowly Beat Out Alternate Concept, Waffle House of Eldraine
ELDRAINE — After the success of Magic’s initial visit to the plane of Eldraine, the fabled return was inevitable. Though…
Gurmag Angler Successfully Lures Prey by Flaunting Livable Wage
SWAMP — A pleasantly full Gurmag Angler reported its newfound success in luring delicious prey was due to its promise…
Local Man “Dealt A Bad Hand in Life” Unaware it was a No-Lander After Mulling to Four
CHICAGO, Ill. — James Parish, down on his luck yet again, told reporters he’d hit a new low, chalking it…
Flyer for Local Modern Tournament Completely Illegible
SALEM, Mass. — Flyer for a new local game store, holding a Modern tournament in order to increase awareness, was…
WotC’s Latest Customer Satisfaction Survey Curious if, Hypothetically Speaking, You Might Be Into the Idea of Fucking the Cards
Wizards of the Coast’s latest customer satisfaction survey attempted to ascertain if they’ve been screwing up as of late by…
Should Your Deck Run Regular Basics or Long Basics?
The choice to use regular basic lands or long basic lands is a question more common than “What commander should…