Ravnica Unmastered Has Players Dig Through Old Boxes for Playable Cards
What’s old is now old again. The upcoming “Ravnica Unmastered” set differs from usual MTG expansions. Rather than purchasing packs…
2023
Contempt for Hasbro’s Holiday Layoffs No Match for Buying Overpriced Playing Cards
The recent wave of layoffs at Hasbro sparked contempt among Magic: The Gathering players. Despite the overwhelming agreement within the…
Cult of Rakdos’ HOA Approves New Bird Fountain
The Cult of Rakdos’ Homeowners Association (HOA) has approved the installation of a new bird fountain in their community. This…
Wizards of the Coast Confirms that Whatever the Monkey With a Mirror Sees is Public Information
Wizards of the Coast has released an official statement to clarify an ambiguous ruling troubling players. As of today, all…
MTG Spinoff, ‘Gathering: The Magic’, to Package One Kinda Cool Friend with 14 Shitty Ones
Wizards of the Coast has announced a new spinoff to their wildly popular trading card game, Magic: The Gathering. The…
How to Tell if Your Mashed Potatoes Need More Basic Island
Mashed potatoes can be tricky. Arriving at the correct consistency means having the right tools and a bit of trial…
Grandpa Preparing for Annual Thanksgiving Speech About How Your Children are Soft, Weak Little Things
As Thanksgiving approaches, families across the nation are preparing for the usual traditions: turkey, pumpkin pie, and in the Johnson…
Mariah Carey Confirms the Person She Wants for Christmas Never Existed and Neither Do You
In a stunning turn of events, pop diva Mariah Carey has announced that the person she famously sings about wanting…
Republicans Announce Campaign To Make Running for Exercise Weird Again
In a bold move that’s left many scratching their heads, a Republican candidate for the 2024 presidential race has unveiled…
San Diego Comic-Con Places Pre-Release Copy of Grand Theft Auto 6 at Center of Funko Pop Maze
In a move that has left attendees both bewildered and excited, San Diego Comic-Con has announced a unique challenge: a…