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October 2023

  • Commander

New “100++” Deck Box Promises Space for Whole Commander Deck with Enough Room Left Over to Privately Breastfeed Your Baby

In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for parent-gamers everywhere, the latest product in TCG accessories, the “100++…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Graveyard-Bound Creature Asked What It Was Wearing At The Time

A graveyard-bound creature card was reportedly questioned about its attire at the time of its ‘demise’ during a recent Friday…

  • Card Games

Fashionable Playmat Comes Pre-Ripped

In a bold move that’s shaking up the TCG community, accessory manufacturer “MatRat” has launched its latest product: the “Vintage…

  • Commander

Sorry, Power Level of This Life Raft is About a 7

In a shocking display of survival priorities, a group of stranded Magic: The Gathering players unanimously voted to eject one…

  • D&D

Some D&D Players Returning to Traditional Rolling Method of Blowing a D20 Out of Their Nose

In a bizarre resurgence of what historians of the game are calling a “deeply traditional and somewhat questionable practice,” several…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Panda Who Switched Diet from Bamboo to Magic: The Gathering Cards Suddenly Down to Fuck

In an unexpected turn of events, Zhen Zhen, a previously listless panda at the San Diego Zoo, has undergone a…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Cast of Naruto Asks If They’re ‘Gonna Have to Be Magic: The Gathering Cards Too’

In a dimension-bending turn of events, the animated cast of the beloved series “Naruto” has reportedly reached out to their…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Inclusivity Win: Wizards of the Coast R&D Hire Smart Toaster as Head of Design

In a groundbreaking move celebrated as a significant step toward workplace inclusivity, Wizards of the Coast (WotC) announced their newest…

  • News

Local Gamer Finishes Cyberpunk 2077, Wears Toasters as Gloves and Calls Everyone ‘Choom’

Emerging from a marathon 400-hour session of Cyberpunk 2077, local gamer Jamie Thompson startled friends and family by donning toasters…

  • News

RPG Monster Academy Stresses Importance of Waiting in Line, Taking Turns

DreadHorde Preparatory Academy, the quintessential institution for the budding RPG monster, has been under fire from parents due to its…

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We have a bad case of the shirts.


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The Bored Card is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.
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