Breaking: New Ability Creates Artifact Token with Old Ability
If rumors are to be trusted, anonymous sources inside Magic: The Gathering’s R&D team have leaked plans for a brand-new…
“Okay With Proxies?” Guy Plays Card on His Phone
In a move that has rocked the local Magic: The Gathering community, notorious “okay with proxies?” guy, Dave “Proxy King”…
Ouch: Magic Card Gonna Mulligan Down to Six People After Drawing Your Useless Ass
In a humiliating turn of events that’s rattled the ego of Magic: The Gathering players everywhere, a sentient Magic card…
New “100++” Deck Box Promises Space for Whole Commander Deck with Enough Room Left Over to Privately Breastfeed Your Baby
In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for parent-gamers everywhere, the latest product in TCG accessories, the “100++…
Graveyard-Bound Creature Asked What It Was Wearing At The Time
A graveyard-bound creature card was reportedly questioned about its attire at the time of its ‘demise’ during a recent Friday…
Fashionable Playmat Comes Pre-Ripped
In a bold move that’s shaking up the TCG community, accessory manufacturer “MatRat” has launched its latest product: the “Vintage…
Sorry, Power Level of This Life Raft is About a 7
In a shocking display of survival priorities, a group of stranded Magic: The Gathering players unanimously voted to eject one…
Some D&D Players Returning to Traditional Rolling Method of Blowing a D20 Out of Their Nose
In a bizarre resurgence of what historians of the game are calling a “deeply traditional and somewhat questionable practice,” several…
Panda Who Switched Diet from Bamboo to Magic: The Gathering Cards Suddenly Down to Fuck
In an unexpected turn of events, Zhen Zhen, a previously listless panda at the San Diego Zoo, has undergone a…
Cast of Naruto Asks If They’re ‘Gonna Have to Be Magic: The Gathering Cards Too’
In a dimension-bending turn of events, the animated cast of the beloved series “Naruto” has reportedly reached out to their…