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Breaking: New Ability Creates Artifact Token with Old Ability

If rumors are to be trusted, anonymous sources inside Magic: The Gathering’s R&D team have leaked plans for a brand-new…

  • Commander

“Okay With Proxies?” Guy Plays Card on His Phone

In a move that has rocked the local Magic: The Gathering community, notorious “okay with proxies?” guy, Dave “Proxy King”…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Ouch: Magic Card Gonna Mulligan Down to Six People After Drawing Your Useless Ass

In a humiliating turn of events that’s rattled the ego of Magic: The Gathering players everywhere, a sentient Magic card…

  • Commander

New “100++” Deck Box Promises Space for Whole Commander Deck with Enough Room Left Over to Privately Breastfeed Your Baby

In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for parent-gamers everywhere, the latest product in TCG accessories, the “100++…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Graveyard-Bound Creature Asked What It Was Wearing At The Time

A graveyard-bound creature card was reportedly questioned about its attire at the time of its ‘demise’ during a recent Friday…

  • Card Games

Fashionable Playmat Comes Pre-Ripped

In a bold move that’s shaking up the TCG community, accessory manufacturer “MatRat” has launched its latest product: the “Vintage…

  • Commander

Sorry, Power Level of This Life Raft is About a 7

In a shocking display of survival priorities, a group of stranded Magic: The Gathering players unanimously voted to eject one…

  • D&D

Some D&D Players Returning to Traditional Rolling Method of Blowing a D20 Out of Their Nose

In a bizarre resurgence of what historians of the game are calling a “deeply traditional and somewhat questionable practice,” several…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Panda Who Switched Diet from Bamboo to Magic: The Gathering Cards Suddenly Down to Fuck

In an unexpected turn of events, Zhen Zhen, a previously listless panda at the San Diego Zoo, has undergone a…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Cast of Naruto Asks If They’re ‘Gonna Have to Be Magic: The Gathering Cards Too’

In a dimension-bending turn of events, the animated cast of the beloved series “Naruto” has reportedly reached out to their…

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We have a bad case of the shirts.


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The Bored Card is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.
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