Out of Ideas? Magic: The Gathering’s Marketing Team Chants ‘Taylor Swift’ Three Times into Bathroom Mirror
The Magic: The Gathering marketing team, tasked with increasing the female player base, gathered in the office bathroom and chanted…
Players Quick to Point Out They Could Buy a Vagina-Scented Candle for the Same Price as the Latest Marvel Snap Bundle
This week’s outrage over the latest bundle offered in the digital CCG, Marvel Snap was punctuated by players comparing its…
Parents of Child Dabbling In Magic: The Gathering Suggest They Smoke a Bunch of Weed Instead
Local parents Bobby and Shelly McLaune discovered their son Billy dabbling with Magic: The Gathering and decided to intervene by…
Breaking: New Ability Creates Artifact Token with Old Ability
If rumors are to be trusted, anonymous sources inside Magic: The Gathering’s R&D team have leaked plans for a brand-new…
“Okay With Proxies?” Guy Plays Card on His Phone
In a move that has rocked the local Magic: The Gathering community, notorious “okay with proxies?” guy, Dave “Proxy King”…
Ouch: Magic Card Gonna Mulligan Down to Six People After Drawing Your Useless Ass
In a humiliating turn of events that’s rattled the ego of Magic: The Gathering players everywhere, a sentient Magic card…
New “100++” Deck Box Promises Space for Whole Commander Deck with Enough Room Left Over to Privately Breastfeed Your Baby
In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for parent-gamers everywhere, the latest product in TCG accessories, the “100++…
Graveyard-Bound Creature Asked What It Was Wearing At The Time
A graveyard-bound creature card was reportedly questioned about its attire at the time of its ‘demise’ during a recent Friday…
Fashionable Playmat Comes Pre-Ripped
In a bold move that’s shaking up the TCG community, accessory manufacturer “MatRat” has launched its latest product: the “Vintage…
Sorry, Power Level of This Life Raft is About a 7
In a shocking display of survival priorities, a group of stranded Magic: The Gathering players unanimously voted to eject one…