How to Tell if Your Mashed Potatoes Need More Basic Island
Mashed potatoes can be tricky. Arriving at the correct consistency means having the right tools and a bit of trial…
Grandpa Preparing for Annual Thanksgiving Speech About How Your Children are Soft, Weak Little Things
As Thanksgiving approaches, families across the nation are preparing for the usual traditions: turkey, pumpkin pie, and in the Johnson…
Mariah Carey Confirms the Person She Wants for Christmas Never Existed and Neither Do You
In a stunning turn of events, pop diva Mariah Carey has announced that the person she famously sings about wanting…
Republicans Announce Campaign To Make Running for Exercise Weird Again
In a bold move that’s left many scratching their heads, a Republican candidate for the 2024 presidential race has unveiled…
San Diego Comic-Con Places Pre-Release Copy of Grand Theft Auto 6 at Center of Funko Pop Maze
In a move that has left attendees both bewildered and excited, San Diego Comic-Con has announced a unique challenge: a…
Fans Hopeful Their Favorite Magic: The Gathering Content Creators Drop Some Fresh IHOP Knowledge Soon
Fans of prominent Magic: The Gathering content creators are waiting with bated breath for an update on the latest in…
Modern Day Jesus? This Guy Always Snaps Whenever Opponent Uses the ‘Snap?’ Emote
In what can only be described as a digital second coming, one Marvel Snap player has been hailed as the…
Out of Ideas? Magic: The Gathering’s Marketing Team Chants ‘Taylor Swift’ Three Times into Bathroom Mirror
The Magic: The Gathering marketing team, tasked with increasing the female player base, gathered in the office bathroom and chanted…
Players Quick to Point Out They Could Buy a Vagina-Scented Candle for the Same Price as the Latest Marvel Snap Bundle
This week’s outrage over the latest bundle offered in the digital CCG, Marvel Snap was punctuated by players comparing its…
Parents of Child Dabbling In Magic: The Gathering Suggest They Smoke a Bunch of Weed Instead
Local parents Bobby and Shelly McLaune discovered their son Billy dabbling with Magic: The Gathering and decided to intervene by…