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No Sweetie, The Blue Mage Under Your Bed Isn’t Holding a Counterspell

A local girl had quite the bedtime scare Tuesday evening. Seven-year-old Eloise Winters refused to go to sleep after claiming…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Breaking: Mom’s Gonna Wait In Car While We Play Our Little Magic Game

In a developing story outside of Knight’s Table Gaming & Vapes, 13-year-old Jacob Millner confirmed that his mom will be…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Original Flavor Text for Sephiroth’s Intervention Urged Nostalgic Players to Schedule Colonoscopy

A recently uncovered draft of Sephiroth’s Intervention, a Magic: The Gathering Final Fantasy VII crossover, has revealed the original flavor…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Giveaway: Free Final Fantasy Collectors Booster Box to the First One to Dodge 200 Lightning Strikes in this Field

In a bold marketing stunt (or actionable OSHA violation) local game shop Flushable Board Wipes has announced an exclusive giveaway…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Tifa Lockhart MTG Proxies Causing Widespread Sexual Awakening in LaserJet Printers

An entire generation of HP LaserJets found themselves inexplicably obsessed with the curvature of the female anatomy Wednesday, as Magic:…

  • Magic: The Gathering

What? No Way. Exile Has a GameCube with Four Controllers in There

BURLINGTON, V.T. — Magic: The Gathering confirmed that the exile zone, long thought to be a formless, desolate void, is…

  • Magic: The Gathering

My Mom’s Foundations Set Review: “Vivien Reid Needs to Put On a Jacket”

Foundations is a new Magic: The Gathering set that brings a host of new cards, stunning artwork, and familiar characters….

  • Magic: The Gathering

Trump Appoints Yawgmoth Surgeon General

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President-elect Donald Trump announced today the appointment of Yawgmoth as Surgeon General of the United States. Yawgmoth,…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Opinion: Competitive Magic: The Gathering Could Become America’s New Favorite Pastime if it Had a Little More Congratulatory Ass Slapping

Let’s face it: Magic: The Gathering has all the components of a great American sport—it’s competitive, strategic, expensive, and boasts…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Vatican Claims ‘Modern Day Miracle’ After Cash for ‘Foundations’ Booster Box Suddenly Materializes for Broke Roommate

VATICAN CITY — In what is being hailed as a “modern day miracle,” the Vatican released a statement Wednesday after…

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We have a bad case of the shirts.


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The Bored Card is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.
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